Heinz's Kraft Dinner has launched a Valentine's Day campaign that's, for some reason, being shown a lot of love on social media.
According to their official rules, there are fifty prizes that they're giving away to people who share "one-liners" with them. Each of those prizes is a single heart-shaped box of KD, along with a "flavour boost packet", and a fork.
The total value of all prizes combined is $500.
What the official rules don't mention is what you'll learn if you search the #CandyKD hashtag; the Kraft Dinner is actually coloured what is apparently meant to be a romantic hue of pink.
As their social media feeds are describing it, "It’s cheesy. It’s sweet. Oh, and it’s completely pink."
Or, as a member of editorial staff said today, "It reminds me of that pink slime" which a not-to-be-named fast-food chain makes its burgers out of.
As a macaroni and cheese snob and a romantic, I can think of a few things that might impress my Valentine more than a box of KD with pink food colouring in it.
Like a Post-It note with the word "FART" written on it in Sharpie, lovingly stuck to the bathroom mirror so it's one of the first things they see when they wake up on February 14th.
A 1960s era chainsaw (in non-working condition, and leaking oil) with my Valentine's initials engraved in its handle.
The remains of a seagull that's been struck by a vehicle, left in the middle of the road and repeatedly ran over by other cars for a stretch of no less than four days.
Or, simply, a box of Annie's organic mac and cheese, sprinkled with just enough pink Himalayan salt.
Will you be mine?
