Molly Jeschke's divorce helped inspire her to help others going through a similar experience.
The New Westminster woman is leading a series of free workshops for men and women who are going to through the challenging transition of being single after being part of a couple.
"I though I had divorce written on my forehead," she said about her own experience. "All of a sudden, I am Molly Jeschke, single mom of four."
When Jeschke and her second husband separated in 1970, she was a mom of four children between the ages of six and 10. After her husband cheated on her, she felt angry, bitter, insecure and scared about what the future would bring.
"I can identify with the people," she told The Record. "I have a lot of empathy."
After her children were grown, Jeschke returned to college and became a group facilitator and a counsellor. Her workshops focus on helping people who are recently separated or divorced and are starting out on their own again.
"A lot of people think, 'I am losing my mind,'" she said. "What they are experiencing is this emotion and that emotion. When they find other people are going through the same thing, 'I am not alone, I am not going crazy, I am going through a process."
While it can be intimidating and scary to go through a divorce or separation, Jeschke said it helps to connect with others who are going through the same thing and experiencing the various stages of being on one's own again. She notes it's a far better alternative than turning to alcohol or drugs, as some people do following a split.
"There is denial - it is not happening to me. There is anger. There is that loneliness and despair in spots," she said. "Finally, it's like a mountain - at the top there is freedom."
Once she learned to let go of her anger and bitterness and become more confident and self reliant, Jeschke felt free to explore new interests.
"My motto is, don't look at divorce as an ending - it's a new beginning," she said.
Jeschke is well aware that she's been more fortunate than some others who split from their partners, noting some experience stalking, domestic violence and financial conflicts. Nowadays, Jeschke's ex-husband stays at her home when he's in town to visit their children.
"Everything is fine," she said. "It's like seeing a friend from the past. We have real history. I have known him since he was 19 years old."
Jeschke will be facilitating four, two-hour workshops for people who are transitioning from being a couple to being single again. The aim of the free workshops is to help people understand the process of "dis-union" and develop the necessary skill for rebuilding a positive future after a relationship had ended, to help them gain a new support system by interacting with others who can related to similar circumstances and to develop appropriate communication and cooperation with former partners to effectively deal with parenting issues.
"I think it's important for people to connect with other people," Jeschke said. "The connection with others is a big plus."
The workshops, which are being held on Sept. 20 and 26 and Oct. 4 and 11 from 7 to 9 p.m. at Century House, are being funded by a Vancouver Foundation neighbourhood small grant program that's administered locally by Family Services of Greater Vancouver
For more information about the free workshops or to register, call Molly Jeschke at 604-521-6200.
